Living on one income with husband in school?

by Crystal Paine

I just read you post today on being a homemaker as a wife, not yet a mother. I was just recently married in May to the most wonderful godly man! He truly desires me to be a stay-at-home wife but is working his way through school to be an engineer. My question is how were you able to stay at home with Jesse at school? We both hate debt and have worked hard not to accrue any, but we do not see how I could be a stay at home wife without taking out massive loans in order to pay rent and food for the next couple of years before he graduates? Just curious if you had any counsel in this area? -Mrs. E.

Dear Mrs. E.,

Oh how I know how you feel! When Jesse and I got married, we honestly had no idea how we would make it through law school without debt and without me working full-time. Most people would think we were crazy to even consider it. However, here we stand, three years later, as a testament to the mercy, grace, and provision of God. It is not a testament to our incredible faith or ingenuity. Believe me, many times, especially during the first year, I would worry and stress over how we would afford to pay for basic things.

I wrote some months back: It is amazing for me to look back upon the last few years of my life and see how God has carried us through. Two years ago, we had no clue how we would survive law school. We only had a small amount of money in the bank, plus the money we'd saved for law school. We wanted to stay out of debt, we wanted to trust God regarding our family size and accept with joy however many children He saw fit to send us whenever He saw fit to send them, and my husband and I wanted to follow the conviction that the Lord had led us to that I should be a keeper-at-home.

I admit that the first year was very rough for me. I worried a lot. I prayed a lot. I cried a lot. Having been raised in a well-to-do family and always having more than I could possibly need or want and then learning to live on the bare neccessities and often not even knowing how we would pay for those was definitely a test of my faith. But, as I continued to cling to the promises of God in Scripture that He would provide for us and as I saw God time and time again answer our prayers, my trust in Jehovah-Jireh began to deepen. If your husband desires you to be a stay-at-home wife and and you both feel God is leading you in this direction, go for it. Realize that it will require a lot of work, a lot of faith, and a lot of sacrifice. However, following God is always a path of great blessing. The lessons that Jesse and I have learned, the prayers we have seen answered, the specific provisions from the Lord showered upon us has been incredible. Learning to rely upon the Lord together these past three years has strengthened our marriage and our faith like nothing else probably could.

Stepping out in faith requires you to put some feet to your faith, too, though. Claim the promises of God that He will never leave you nor forsake you. Pray and ask the Lord to give you creative ideas for saving money, cut back on every single possible extra expense you can, and watch God do great and mighty things on your behalf!

Practically speaking, I would encourage you and your husband to sit down and make out a budget on his part-time income (this is assuming he is working a small bit). Analyze every area of expense: Can we live without this for a short time? If not, is there a cheaper alternative?

You may be surprised, as we were, at how little you can actually live on. I know that it differs based upon where you live, but to give you a basic idea, Jesse and I have lived many months on $800-$1000/month. I know other families who have lived on even less. We could have cut our budget down even more if we had opted for cheaper housing, but we decided to go with something in a relatively nicer and safer area since I was going to be home so much alone while he was in school.

If your husband will not be able to work at all or it seems completely impossible to be able to make out a basic budget off of his part-time income, consider how much money you would actually make if you were to work full-time. Most of the time, when you add in all the extra expenses (clothing expenses, extra vehicle and gasoline expenses, more restaurant food and processed food expenses, etc. and the stress and strain of you having to work full-time in addition to trying to be your husband's help meet and homemaker), you are making very little extra and the added stress makes the little you do make, not worth it. Just thinking through all of this and writing it all up on paper might be enough to have you and your husband reconsider a full-time job for you!

Just because you don't work full-time, doesn't mean you can't be bringing in some income, though. You might consider a part-time job which you could do while still being home more than you are gone. Before we had Kathrynne, I worked one day a week as an assistant to a Christian woman who had a home business ( Jennifer Neef - author of His Chosen Bride - some of you might know of her) and I also worked a few days each week as a waitress at a tea room run by a wonderful Christian woman. When Jesse and I moved so he could begin law school, I worked as a mother's helper to three homeschooling families for about 5 hours a day, three to four days a week. I've also taught violin lessons, taught classes from home for homeschoolers, worked as a mystery shopper, sold on eBay, and done a variety of other odd things to help bring in extra income.

I am so grateful that I can now work from home a few hours everyday during Kathrynne's naptime. There are almost limitless possibilities for earning extra money to help supplement your husband's income without having to go out and pursue a career and many of these can be done right from your own home allowing you to be home to care for the needs of your home and family to exercise frugality and to save yourself most of the normal expenses associated with a career.

Further recommended reading:

Practical Ideas for Thriving on One Income

Take God at His Word

How Big is Your God?

Crystal Paine is a 24-year-old homeschool graduate from Topeka, Kansas. She is the blessed wife of Jesse and joyful mother of Kathrynne. Visit her site, Biblical Womanhood, for books, articles, encouragement, and inspiration!

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