From Work to Home - Part 2

By Melissa

When I met and married my husband at 18 I already had one baby from a previous boyfriend and was working full time. We agreed from the beginning I would stay home, the main reason being it was cheaper for me to stay home with my daughter than to work and pay childcare. But I quickly adjusted and enjoyed being at home.

After being home for a little over a year and just having had another child, I went back to work. I found a good paying job through a temporary agency and thought that this was how I would find my career. But again God put up a road block, the permanent position I was working at became replaced by a computer and I couldn’t seem to find work. Again, I was home and all was content.

Then my husband decided to change careers right after the birth of my third child. It meant a 60% pay cut, and you guessed it, back to work for me. I was excited because I had been offered a great paying job from a friend and was welcomed into a company that thought I was great. The constant praise and money was giving me the illusion of a perfect life.

Then slowly but surely as the selfish desire for money and independence grew, my marriage started failing, it felt like my kids were too much, and my job was the place that I found myself needed and rewarded. I left my husband and got my own apartment, we had joint custody, and I was fine with that.

I was sitting with a friend of mine from church complaining about my ex-husband and was waiting for her to tell me how great I was and what a good job I did. Instead she waited me out and gave it to me straight and showed me how I had left my husband and my kids and gone completely against God. I was shattered into a million pieces as I realized what I had done and within a matter of moments saw my sins for what they were.

I drove directly to my ex-husband's house and asked his forgiveness. Four months later we were reconciled and together had recommitted our lives to Christ. We had both done this as children, and even went to church and put on the best Sunday show during our marriage. But this time was real, God’s Word cut through joint and marrow and we were reborn.

The only issue left was my job. We had become so adjusted to our income that we were afraid to figure out a way to get me home, because we knew it would be hard. God was gracious, he closed our daycare that had been open for 25 years due to the owner's retirement. We knew this was it, ready or not we were taking our cue from God and jumping in feet first.

We had two weeks before I left and we had a plan.

1. We first prayed to acknowledge God's plan and surrendered to him.

2. We made a list of all our required spending and we were tough, nothing extra.

3. We sold our second car.

4. I made a very strict and sometimes less than glamorous meal plan. It included coupons and many vegetarian meals.

5. We started strict rules about turning off lights and using less water. This included wearing clothes several times if they look and smelled appropriate. We would wash dishes by hand instead of run the dish washer and hang up clothes one the line out back to dry in the summer.

6. We lowered our standards on all products. We were shocked at how much more we spent on name brand toilet paper, tooth paste, and food. Although using coupons we often got the name brands for less than the generic.

7. We went back to homeschooling. We had our children public school and had homeschooled once before. We knew it was cheaper. (And better!)

I'll be honest, it was hard. I cried in private sometimes because I didn't think I could do it one more day. But slowly and surely God blessed us through my husbands passion and hard work in is new career, and through the passion God had given me to be a keeper at home. We saw the truth in our children and marriage, how close we had become to God, and yes, financially.

We almost lost our home, but we also knew that we could live in an apartment if we had to. We almost lost our minds sometimes. But we had privilege of seeing the other side and now knew the truth of what real value was. The truth of the matter was that God is clear on my role as a woman and no matter what I tried to use to justify it, the truth was still there.

It has been 7 years since I left work. We now live in a home two times the size of our old one and have recently become debt free with the exception of our mortgage. But the real value is that we are children of God, not just playing it out in public or trying to change it to suit us. And we have never been more truly joyful.

- Melissa, wife to Patrick and mother to three future keepers-at-home

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