We need as many well-equipped arrows as possible
I posted something about the Duggar's new addition yesterday and braced myself for the onslaught of angry comments which I knew would ensue. I've chosen not to allow comments of that nature here because there are plenty of other places on the internet to hurl insults at this family. Suffice it to say, people are very upset at the Duggar family for choosing to have 17 children. What I don't get is that the majority of people saying vitriolic remarks are also the same people who will say out of the other side of their mouth that everyone has a right to do as they please, a right to choose what is best for their life.
Those statements all go out the window when it comes to the Duggar family, though. It is okay to sleep with multiple partners, have multiple abortions, or ship any children you have off to day care centers for the bulk of their growing up years. It is okay to call "marriage and family" a group of any sort of people you come up with that suits your fancy, it is okay for parents to work at the expense of their children, but it is absolutely not okay in their book for anyone to trust God with their family size and have 17 children. Never mind that these 17 children are in a warm and loving family environment, never mind that there seems to be much order and structure in the Duggar home, never mind that these parents are well-providing for their children, never mind that centuries ago, having 17 children was not anything extremely out of the ordinary.
For some reason it is okay to have fancy cars, big mansions, and all the electronic gadgets and toys we could ever hope for. It's okay to have pets - lots of pets if you prefer - cats, dogs, reptiles. However, it is not okay to have a lot of children.
Do you see how silly all of this is? We spend all of our lives working to afford fancier cars, bigger houses, and more gadgets and gizmos, and yet one of the few things which can leave a lasting legacy - our children - we overlook.
No, I'm not saying that everyone needs to follow in the steps of the Duggars and have 17 or more children. Most normal married couples cannot have that many in their lifetime anyway. What I am saying is that we need to get over this low view of children, a view which has sadly infiltrated most of Evangelical Christianity.
The Bible says children are gifts from the Lord, why would we want to reject His blessings? What is more important than investing our lives training and raising up the next generation?
I pray God raises up many more large Christian families like the Duggars to show the world - by example - that children are a blessing from the Lord and that responsibly raising many children is possible. More importantly, though, I pray that many more parents would grasp hold of their responsibility to train and raise their children up to love the Lord with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength. We live in a sin-sick world and we need as many well-equipped arrows as possible to be shot out into the world to impact our culture for the glory of God.
Those statements all go out the window when it comes to the Duggar family, though. It is okay to sleep with multiple partners, have multiple abortions, or ship any children you have off to day care centers for the bulk of their growing up years. It is okay to call "marriage and family" a group of any sort of people you come up with that suits your fancy, it is okay for parents to work at the expense of their children, but it is absolutely not okay in their book for anyone to trust God with their family size and have 17 children. Never mind that these 17 children are in a warm and loving family environment, never mind that there seems to be much order and structure in the Duggar home, never mind that these parents are well-providing for their children, never mind that centuries ago, having 17 children was not anything extremely out of the ordinary.
For some reason it is okay to have fancy cars, big mansions, and all the electronic gadgets and toys we could ever hope for. It's okay to have pets - lots of pets if you prefer - cats, dogs, reptiles. However, it is not okay to have a lot of children.
Do you see how silly all of this is? We spend all of our lives working to afford fancier cars, bigger houses, and more gadgets and gizmos, and yet one of the few things which can leave a lasting legacy - our children - we overlook.
No, I'm not saying that everyone needs to follow in the steps of the Duggars and have 17 or more children. Most normal married couples cannot have that many in their lifetime anyway. What I am saying is that we need to get over this low view of children, a view which has sadly infiltrated most of Evangelical Christianity.
The Bible says children are gifts from the Lord, why would we want to reject His blessings? What is more important than investing our lives training and raising up the next generation?
I pray God raises up many more large Christian families like the Duggars to show the world - by example - that children are a blessing from the Lord and that responsibly raising many children is possible. More importantly, though, I pray that many more parents would grasp hold of their responsibility to train and raise their children up to love the Lord with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength. We live in a sin-sick world and we need as many well-equipped arrows as possible to be shot out into the world to impact our culture for the glory of God.
posted by Crystal Paine at 8:22 AM
74 Comments:
Amen! :)
Amen and amen! :)
It's a sick and sad dying world that we live in. :(
I only hope that more people will see there's nothing odd or strange about having 17 children in God's eyes, it's normal and natural!
Mankind is the one who has created an adverse and damaging "normal" family. Having many children has actually been shown to have great health side effects!
As for us, we're ready for as many children as the Lord decides to bless us with! :)
Oh Crystal, how well you articulated this...a subject that has bothered me for some time. I, too, have wondered & shook my head at the vicious double standard so many people hold about children. It's as if they see larger families as parasites, gobbling up resources that belong to.....well, to whom, I would like to know?
I have seen families with two or three children, doing things very badly. And on the flip side, I've witnessed larger families (my husband's family, for example.....12 kids) doing it quite well.
I'm enjoying your blog. I hope this comment goes through....sent one a couple days ago, but it wasn't posted.
many thanks, Brenda
It baffles me, breaks my heart, and makes me mad all at the same time when I hear the meanness that people have in their hearts for the Duggars.
We are expecting our 7th and I hear rude comments all the time. I can't understand how my children or I are inconveniencing any of the gripers.
In fact, I recently asked a man who complained to me about our family size, "Do my children bother you?" He was shocked and then apologetic and said that of course they didn't.
If it were any other group being criticised (like "alternative lifestyles") you can bet there would be an uproar and cries of "intolerance".
Sorry to go on and on. This has been on my mind a lot lately.
Oh Crystal that made me cry you said it so well! You are SO right!!! It is so sad and such a shame the way society looks at children these days. Children are such wonderful blessings and oh for Christian families to raise as many as possible to love and work for God...what a beautiful picture that is. I struggle so much some days because we have three blessings so far and others think that is SO many LOL. And the comments and looks I get when I mention wanting more...LOL. I want more very, very much and it is something that I pray for daily. Right now we struggle greatly with finances so my husband thinks it is not good "timing" and wishes to wait. I don't necessarly agree but I'm praying away....
http://aspiringreflections.blogspot.com/
Amen, Crystal! Thanks for posting about their newest arrival, I was wondering when it was coming!
You said it!!! AMEN!!! Crystal that is exactly the truth! I have had many people say bad things about the Duggars when in reality what they've done is just plain awesome!! Melissa, helpmeet to Steve, mom to J dss11, S dsd10, M dsd8, R ds7, and K dd 2
Our children are the only things that have eternal value on this earth, yet people are so adamant that children are not worth our time or money and that we should "get it over with" as soon as possible. How encouraging it is to find another person (or two!) who feels that children are wonderful blessings. Everywhere we go, people ask if this is the last one (and we only are on #3!). Thanks for the great post, Crystal!
This was a wonderful post, Crystal. You are exactly right!!
I totally agree and I agree that it is a woman's place to be home and raise her children, not someone else's. Children are a huge blessing. Thank you for saying that!! Diana from Oklahoma
*applause*
Brenda: Thanks for your comments! Not sure what happened to your other comment. :( I'm most certain I didn't delete it - I delete only a small portion of comments here and those are ones which are either vitriolic in nature, from our resident trolls, someone criticizing my family or our beliefs, or a comment which I know will lead to an ensuing firestorm of controversy - something I try to avoid here most of the time for the sake of peace and making this blog a refreshing place.
There are a few others who have mentioned their comments not going through either recently. I have no idea what could be the problem - perhaps it is because of the comment moderation and word verification? At any rate, if you are having trouble getting your comment to go through, you are always welcome to email me (biblicalwomanhood @ sbcglobal.net) and I'll be glad to post it for you.
I agree with you 100%, Crystal. Most of the Christians I know would *strongly disapprove* of this family having 17 (and hopefully more) children, as if it is any of their business. I feel very strongly that God is smiling down on this precious family. I am not saying that God does not smile on all families raising their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, no matter how many children they have. I am saying that God looks at our hearts and our obedience to His Word. I praise Him for this family and their example. As a grandma, I think how blessed the grandparents of these 17 children must feel!
Carla
How true! How true! I think of the battle of Jericho, and how the scripture records that Jericho (a great and wealthy city, maybe much like the "greatness" and "wealth" of our own wayward country) walls were built at the expense of their children. In fact Joshua said the man (that applies to us all) who rebuilds "Jericho" (a rich a great city) will lay its foundations with his firstborn and with his youngest set up its gates. (Joshua 6:26-27)
My heart cries to the Lord in prayer and repentance often for my own sin in this area. It starts so insidiously with an attitude as though our children are such a burden rather than the blessing and reward God declares them to be. My heart breaks to see so many "christians" building their own Jerichos, making themselves increasingly slaves to material wealth at the expense of their children. We don't seem to believe God anymore (save a remnant) that His way is perfect, that there is nothing more valueable to HIM than the preciousness of souls. How mixed up we seem to be in the "church" in America. Seeking to "save" people and all the while we loose our marriages and children and families to the walls and gates we build to make ourselves feel secure and great.
Thank you for posting this, it's so true. We nee as many well- equipped arrows as possible. We are unequipped for the battle at hand because the army is out of order- wives not submitting to their husbands, husbands not leading the home in serving the Lord, and children cast off as burdens not trained to obey their parents.
Oh that we would turn and love God's ways and obey Him!
I truly believe the sin of our nation which brings God's judgement are those who call themselves His who have ceased to live the quiet and godly life He called us to as families who love HIS word and obey Him with joy. May the Lord stir the hearts of mothers who've sinned as I have, that maybe like it was in Deborah's day, mothers who arise not in pride or protest for "rights" but in humility and repentance wanting men to lead, not women, wanting children as a blessing not a burden, wanting "village life" (Judges 5:7) that is family life that has nearly ceased in America.
Thank God for the Duggers and all, no matter how many or few children they have, who value what God does and love His blessings and word, not calling them burdens or hardships.
Thank you Crystal!
Well said!!
Great post Crystal,
Even though I came from a family with 5 children, most of my "family" is anti-family. I just gave birth to our 5th on July 15th. It was our first with a midwife at a birth center. My family was also very negative concerning this as well. I guess I just don't understand why people have these views. We love our children, we provide for them and we ask no one for any assistance whatsoever.
We are currently taking it on the chin because we have said we would be open to having more. Because I'm 38 everyone seems to have an opinion on my age as well. What kills me is that it's ok for a woman to start her family at 38 or 40, but for me to have a 6th child at 38 or 40 would be a strain on society. I just don't get it. Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now! :)ocytlud
Crystal, it is SO refreshing to read a blogger and commenters saying such wonderful things about the Duggars. Thank you so much!! I have known about them for almost 3 years now, and desire to be just like them when I have my own family (I'm 15 now). I have gotten to where I cannot read the hateful and negative things people say about them because not only does it completely break my heart, but it makes me so dreadfully angry that it's almost a sin. I get so angry at these people, that I know that this is not pleasing to God so I can't read their comments anymore. I am so very very thankful for the precious Duggar family. This vile world needs more families like them!!! I praise God for them, and would love to meet them one day. They are such precious people and are faithful to God and are obeying him in so many ways(i.e. Mrs. Duggar is a homemaker, all of the females in the family wear distinctly feminine clothing every day, they homeschool, have many children, etc etc.) Praise the Lord for them and may He richly bless them for their faithfulness and obedience to Him!!
Blessings,
Rebekah
Amen!!
The Bible calls children a blessing and the love of money the root of all evil. Sadly, people today hold the reverse to be true. If the Duggars just added another million to their fortune, the Christian community, and the secular sect too, would rise up and praise them. They would say, "See how God has blessed them!" Yet, money and all that it buys will one day pass away. Children are eternal.
Crystal K.
Joyful mom to 5 blessings & praying for more :-)
I couldn't have said it better myself and it's exactly what I've been thinking all along. Thanks for your boldness!
How sad it is that we live in a world more likely to accept the abortion than the birth of 17 children.
Crystal,
Great post. I get so frustrated with many of my married Evangelical friends who live with a contraceptive mindset and lifestyle, and thereby refuse to live out their mission as married couples: to welcome and raise children! The Duggers are living out the mission of their marriage succesfully and abundantly, and I admire them for it.
Excellent post! I absolutely love watching the Discovery channel shows about the Duggars. I am just completely humbled by them. I wish I were half as kind and patient as Michelle is (something I'm praying about and working on). The children all seem so sweet, kind, and bright. I just do not understand why people fault them. While I could not picture myself with that many children, I look at them as an exceptional and very special family. They must be very special and exceptional to be trusted with that many young lives!Yes, it is ironic that the principle of tolerance does not extend to them. I see nothing but love and happiness when I see or read about the Duggars. I also wonder about how the negativity of others affects the Duggars. I hope they are able to truly brush it off. When peope spout off about their opinions on something as personal as family size they do not stop to think about how their remarks can truly hurt those involved. All they care about is having their voice heard. So sad.
Regardless, I am so happy for the Duggars and I look forward to their next discovery channel show. It is kind that they let the rest of America have a peak into their beautiful home and family life.
What's that verse about how men will call evil good, and good, evil? That's totally backwards thinking to criticize someone else when their "freedom of choice" leads them to choose life. As long as the parents can provide for that many children, it's no one's business how many they have!
Thank you for being brave enough to post what is not popular and yet Biblical. I was happy to read about a new baby for the Duggar family. Congratulations to them and welcome baby Jennifer!!!
I am always pleasantly amazed when I read of families with lots of kids. . . . I am from a family of five kids myself and I have always been open to accepting as many babies as God was to send me. I have three miracles here on earth and a baby awaiting me in heaven. Sadly, I have now been told not to give birth to any more children due to health/physical issues, but my husband and I would be willing to open our hearts and home to more children through adoption.
We welcome children and the blessings of God that come with them - Becoming parents requires sacrifice and unselfishness, but the rewards from God for being open to His plan bring such happiness and contentment.
I was (half) joking to hubby the other day that with the low birth rate of most of America, and the high birth rate of the Duggars, in only a few generations we may ALL be related to the Duggars! Talk about a legacy! :)
I have to say that, at first, I was a little put off by someone who would just have one baby after another. But after having seen their specials, I'm soooo impressed. I've never seen a happier family. I thought, how can any one child get any attention when there are so many? Well, it seems that it's impossible to NOT get attention in that family.
I'm impressed, also, that they are debt-free.
I suppose the automatic thought when you hear big family is, 'how do you afford them?' And that thought sometimes leads to, "welfare." This family is definitely not 'on the dole'. I have to be frank...as long as my tax dollars aren't paying for it, it's nobody's business how many children a couple decides to have. Me, I would have liked 8...but 4 seemed to be the number of gifts God had in mind for me.
Oh...and that special about the Duggars building their own house! How cool was that? All the kids had their own little drills!
AMEN! They are a wonderful example of what trusting in the Lord is all about. Many of us could not have 17 children and be half the parents they are. God has truly blessed them with so much! There is no room for criticism.
I have to clarify something. When I say I don't want my tax dollars paying for a big family, I don't mean in the sense of sending the kids to school (although I know the Duggars are homeschooled) or enjoying the town park, or whatever we get as citizens of this wonderful land. I don't even really mind welfare if a family is truly, truly needy. But I think there should be some sense of responsibility. If you can barely make ends meet, or have other issues that will keep you from being the best parent you can be, then now is probably not the time to be having a baby. I, for one, think those who truly love and care for children should have them in abundance. And, sadly, there are those who should never, ever, ever have had children!
Right on Crystal!
You summed it up well in your post about the Duggars. I personally don't plan on having that many children, and like you said, most couples naturally won't (don't forget that they have two sets of twins! :-)). I see absolutely nothing wrong with having a large family as long as you have the resources to give each child a loving, safe home, keep their tummies filled, and clothes on their backs. The only problem I would have with a situation like this would be if they were depending on government programs, etc. or going into debt to sustain such a choice, but that definately doesn't seem to be true in their case. By all means, if you can be wise stewards of your resources and provide not only materially but emotionally for that many children, go for it! :-)
I've learned as a young mother so far that we can always handle more than we think. God is faithful in giving us the strength and ability to do things beyond our wildest dreams. If you read the story on their website, the Duggars did not set out to have that many children in the beginning. God did a great work in their heart and has obviously blessed them.
My husband and I have been talking alot lately about the subject of family planning and are sort of at a cross road. I would love to read more posts about letting God plan your family since this is a new area for us to ponder over. In our circles it seems that the Pill is commonly accepted and widely used, so we are trying to really examine this issue and pray about it. I have been looking into natural family planning. But then have been asking myself if that even is not having faith?
Thanks again for your straightforward thoughts. It really makes sense and brings up alot of things I hadn't thought of before. Thanks!
It seems funny to me that people make such a big deal about this family when there are so many families this size or bigger all over, mostly the people I know with that size are Russians or Amish, though, but coming from a large family myself, I just think it is awful that people think it is okay to be mean because they were on TV.
If parents are properly caring for each of their children and not relying on the government to support them financially, then we have no place to judge them or try and say what is too large of a family--or too small. I know many people who are quick to jump on the soapbox when they don't think someone has enough children, too, so this issue can go both ways depending on who your're talking to. :-) We need to stop worrying about what others are doing in the realm of family planning and leave that to God. It's just not our business. It's easy to look at a situation and make a quick judgement, but we seldom know all of the facts and should leave such personal issues alone, except in the instances stated above, which could apply with one child or ten.
People should stop criticizing this family and focus on the REAL problems in the world that need to be addressed. They are obviously a loving, close knit family who are trying to follow the Lord. Who are we to decide how many children they should have? They are able to support all of their children, so what's the big deal? What should they be doing with their money--leading a selfish life with lots of toys and vacations and the typical 2.5 children? I applaud them for following what they feel is God's calling on their life.
Why is that when a Christian speaks out against abortion and other sins it is regarded by many people in the world as judgemental and intolerant, yet those same people are quick to lash out at the Duggar family's personal choice to have a large family? Tolerance ought to go both ways. They aren't hurting anybody by their lifestyle and their children seem well adjusted and happy. How can anybody find fault with that?
What really puzzles me, Crystal, is how those who say that they 'aren't having many children because they care about the planet' will not budge an inch to use the car less, consume and produce less junk, or reduce their electricity use. It's all that fits THEM and their selfish choices.
excellent post! it is sad the twisted way people think and how deep the hatred for children is in our society. the duggers are wonderful people and they are taking excellent care of their children and are not on welfare. isn't this a choice they should be free to make just as others are free to make the choice to abort? the only difference is god will reward the duggers for their faithfulness.
Crystal,
What a great post! I completely agree! The Duggars are wonderful examples to us and are an inspiration to my family. We just had our 4th baby three days ago...quite a ways from 17, but I couldn't be more thrilled and content with my family and I hope and pray that God gives us many more children!
Laura
Well said, Crystal!!!! :-)
After reading the recent article about the Duggar's having their 17th child, I am really in awe about their attitude towards children. I can't believe they were already discussing more right after the delivery! :-) Wow. That really challenges me, who feels totally overwhelmed with just TWO children under the age of two at the moment. I need to have more faith and graciousness. Reading all the posts on here has really encouraged me to take a hard look at my attitude concerning having more children. I'm a type A personality, one who likes to have everything planned out to the littlest detail, so thinking about relinquishing control of family planning is very scary to me. :-) Thanks for bringing up so many thought provoking points. I'm going to show this to my husband when he gets home and see what his thoughts are. Who knows...maybe I'll be pregnant again before the year is over! :-) God bless you!
I read recently that Saint Catherine of Siena's mother had 30 children, only 15 lived to adulthood, but still.
It's a shame that having many children is considered terrible. What's wrong with children?!!
Amen!! I completely agree with you. I am amazed by the faith this family has. I hope that they all stay healthy and happy.
Please do not group parents that send their children to daycare with those that sleep around and have many abortions.
Thank you for posting that so I wont have to :)
I like you get tired of people butting in to others lives, especially good descent citizens and then do not give a second thought to people who aren't being productive citizens. Personally I feel that the Duggars are an excellent model family for any person, Christian or not. I think that when those children grow up and make a difference in the world people will eat their words.
People just have to be mad at something. :)
Blessings.
Vicki
Is it possible that part of this attitude towards a large family goes back to the evolution thing? Like we have no right to take up so much space on the planet or something. But you are so right...sadly, as you say, a good number of Christians believe this too. Which puts them in conflict with the Scriptures...but then I doubt very many who believe spend much time in reading what GOD is telling us to do...otherwise they would read ALL of HIS Words and not just some. As I have often told some, "And Judas went out and hanged himself...go thou and do likewise"...so you can make HIS WORD say just about anything...or ignore it...but we have ignored it to our peril.
Sadly, we too, were too afraid, too poor when young etc. to trust the LORD with our family size. I greatly admire you in the child bearing years who are doing this!! By the time I had my last one (and my body at 35 was quitting) I so badly wished I could have had more...and NOW at age 55, I can tell you for sure, we wish we had more!!! Cause when kids grow up and go their way, when you only have a few, the absence is felt a lot...seems if you had 17...SOMEONE would always be wanting to see you, right? Blessings on you and Duggars and others with such courage!!
A-M-E-N!
Hi Crystal,
I so totally agree with you. I think we should look at all children as blessings from God.
Dru
Amen Crystal!!! Very well said. We have 7 children and get the comments, the looks, and the attitudes from others. I can only imagine what they must go through. They are strong Christians and I praise GOD that they are trusting in him. I wish I could have more, but alas, it's not safe for me too do physically. Complications in the last two pregnancies. We have friends that are expecting their 13th. PRAISE GOD!!! We also have acquaintances that have 11 or 12.. I lost count. LOL When we attended a Mennonite church, we only had 4 at the time and was one of the smaller families in the church. It was common for the families there to have anywhere from 5 and on up. My Dad was one of 13 and a 2nd cousin on my Dad's side had 20 children... 10 single births and 5 sets of twins! Praise God for large families! I love the Above Rubies newsletter that I receive in the mail from Nancy Campbell because of the large families sometimes featured therein. Glorious Families of children whom are loved!
Very well said. One of my favorite verses is Matthew 6:20. We are not to store up our material possessions. I believe we are to invest our time in things of worth and value to God and I believe that is the family.
I have heard it said that the average family in the US has something like 1.7 kids yet Muslim families have about 4.7 kids. (I can't remember the exact numbers but you get the idea). As far as religion goes, who do you think will have the greater impact on our nation. Christianity (true converts) is becoming such the minority and it is so crucial for us to have children to love and fear God that are willing to become part of the Great Commission and spread the good news.
of course i agree with you 100%... about the others, its not even smart to waste time on their arguements... they just don't see the big picture of ETERNITY and all God has for us... really they don't... someday I can share more on this too... xoxox
Although I am not angry or vitriolic toward the Duggars, I myself don't support the idea, practicality or health risks that come with deciding to have 17 children. One can say what they like, but I don't support it.
Amen, Crystal. You said it all so well. You have such a way of articulating things so beautifully!
Wow! You really say it in a great way!!! I love watching the Duggars, they have a great family and I get sick of hearing people put them down for no reason. I do not have a lot of kids, in fact, by homeschool standards it is kinda a dinky family. But both of my kids are special needs and I have health problems. So having more right now is not an option. My point in saying that is, as human beings we really need to stop judging people by how many kids they have, whether it is a lot or a few. As long as we can take care of them, why does it matter to anyone else how many kids we have???
First of all, I am in awe and inspired by this Arkansas christian family who have added another J to the bunch! The Duggars support all of their children without resorting to any form of government welfare. They love them and treasure them. The children receive excellent home education, are well-trained in music (each learns to play piano and violin). There are some pretty horrible remarks floating around the internet (especially on liberal websites) and I think that people need to mind their own business and instead of bashing a moral christian family, reach out to one that is in peril. There are 4 siblings in my family and my Mom regrets that she didn't have more as she always wanted a large family. The important things in life are not things.
How refreshing to read your blog on the Duggars. My family has been following their show on TLC when it airs, so we know of them and rejoice with them on the arrival of Jennifer. As an "only" child, I'm fascinated with large families. We live near several Mennonite communities, so we see large families alot. What a Godly example to all of the abortion supports and those who see children as a burden.
My husband is currently serving in the Navy and we have 8 children. It's amazing how narrow-minded and cruel people can be in regards to having more than 2.5 children. We've been made fun of, not only by the people living on base, but his command as well. We've also been subjected to harassement by certain individuals within the military housing community because they feel we have "too many children in our yard". That's just a snippet of what we've had to deal with.
My heart goes out the Duggar's. I know how it is to live with insults and hatred. I think they're doing a wonderful job with their children. And I personally feel that people need to concentrate more on their lives than what other families are doing with theirs.
I am so happy for them. They seem like a very happy well rounded family with very secure children, which is more than many much smaller families can say.
It always amazes me when people argue that they are concerned about the "health concerns" of someone having so many children (not just people commenting, so no offense meant). God created our bodies, and created them to give birth. It is ludicrious to me that with all our medical technologiy people are worried about it, when since the beginning of time women have been giving birth with no such advances in medical science. I have heard this argued even in my own church.
Take care,
Leigh
What a beautiful post, Crystal! It is so true that the unsaved won't be able to truly understand the blessing that children are!We already get a lot of rude comments, and we just have three blessings, so far. (Having a girl and boy first, always causes people to think that you are done!) But what a testimony it is for unbelievers to see believers embracing the blessed arrows from Creator! It is that much more convicting on the importance of raising these blessings for Christ.I know that our Lord calls us to be fruitful and to raise them in a godly manner.Blessing!
I completely agree!
People have the idea that children are some sort of leech that suck all the energy and fun out of their parents. That is why people look in horror at the Duggars. People don't understand why in the world someone would want to have all those children. According to the most recent census the average American household does NOT have any children. That's right - 0 children - not 2.5 children anymore! When you only consider the families who have children they are more likely to have 1 child than 3! The average American does not realize that children bring meaning to life (never mind that they are a heritage to the Lord)! When I was pregnant with my 3rd I got a lot of callous comments (like when I would get excited when I felt her move inside me people would say "You've felt it before haven't you?"). I didn't realize until I went to Ireland how messed up we Americans are! I actually was told it was "wonderful" that we were having another!
I am tired of seeing animals as child replacements. I am tired of seeing "doggy strollers" and hearing about "parents" of dogs taking their "children" to dog-parks. I am sick of people saying that they want to wait to have children because they want to "enjoy themselves" or "see the world" first. Then, they are lined up at fertility clinics because they waited until they were 45+ to try to get pregnant for the first time because they had to have "their life first". Our children have never stopped us from doing things! When my 2nd was 1 year old we climbed our first volcano in Iceland! We have gone on many vacations to the "shock" of our friends who couldn't believe we were taking our children on vacation with us! We are going to Mexico this October and people (even our church friends) ask what we are doing with our children. They will be exploring Tulum right at our side! Why should we send them off so we can have our "adult time"? We are a family and we actually like being together! (Friends, family and acquaintances also don't understand why I stay home when I'm "educated" and could get a great paying job).
In my opinion, the Dugger family are an inspiration!
(Sorry for the rant but the whole subject bothers me so much I could probably write a book LOL!)
Lisa mom of 3 princesses and hoping for more!
Gold Star Post!! And I think everyone should be reminded that it is God who gives the children, we do not CHOOSE to HAVE them...meaning that most people who allow God to plan their family, leave it up to Him, rather than PURPOSELY TRY to have them. We should not be looked at as people who are irresponsible. God provides for them and He takes care of them through us. We are stewards of these precious lives that God allows us to participate in. What a privilege and blessing it is to be a mother.
Kathy, mom to 9 expecting our 10th next month.
Thank you for posting this! I have read some other articles and postings about the Duggars and had to leave quickly! It really got me mad...
The other ladies who have commented have said it all. When we were expecting our 5th child, we had so many people saying things, and staring...By the time our 6th came alog, that seemed to stop. I also got a little better in dealing with the rudeness of people. People would make comments like "don't you know how THAT happens?", and "what religion ARE you?' ...etc....But, our kids are a great blessing to us, and I am thankful for them. Look at what people are missing out, when they are deliberately NOT having children because of "overpopulation", etc... I'm so glad there are larger families being profiled on tv specials, because there are a lot of large families out here, and we all need the encouragment that it can be done!!
Ever since I first heard about this family I've been fascinated by them- not because they are so many(I happend to know members of a family of 17 children, and also another with 15), but because of their willingness to share their life with us! I love big families, and have eight younger siblings myself, my father has ten siblings, my mom "only" five.;) My grandmother has 53 grandchildren and another on the way. Two of us are married and quiverfull so I hope there will be great grandchildren for her soon!=)
Anyway, I'm really happy for the Duggars, and wish them all well and God's blessings.
Amen Sister!!!!
I so agree with everything you said, especially the struggle we have with materialism and the place it has in our lives.
Thank you for all you do, I love your blog, and it is always such an encouragement.
Amen. I haven't read all the comments and I'm sure I'll repeat the sentiments of many. But... I admire the Duggar family and read everything I can about them. No, we can't all have 17 children. Yes, we can all raise our children to love the Lord and NOT the things of this world.
I think it is truly a sad thing that is happening when we value things over people, particularly children. This has been the way of the world for quite some time now.
Thank you for posting your beliefs no matter what the world may think. I wholeheartedly agree with your opinion.
i'd just like to ask why, if you KNOW you will get an onslaught of negativity, you don't just close comments on that particular post?? surely it isn't that important for pro-topic readers to have to leave their comments on your blog if the post is about notification and not discussion and it would save a whole lot of negativity!! another blog i read does that...usually she allows comments but when, from past experience, she knows something is particularly a hot topic, she closes them to avoid headaches/work for herself and to keep her blog clean. seems wise methodology to me hence passing it along. :)
I come from a family where our family of three was the abnormal. My cousins come from a family of 8,7,4 you get the idea. My father came from a family of 10. Large families are nothing new, some people just need to be critical of other people to feel good. I always wanted 4 -6 children. The lord blessed us with two. I think the amount of children a family should have is between God and the parents. I have watched all the specials and I would love to sit down with Michelle and get some of her organizing and scheduling tips. They are a family that love the Lord and each other, Oh no run for the hills. God Bless them. Clare
AussieTigger: Good question and I realized it might be helpful to clarify. I've been closing comments more frequently recently - especially if it's on a hot topic and I don't have time to moderate a discussion. However, I've found that no matter if they are closed or not, people will still post negative and nasty responses - they'll just go to the post above or below to leave the comment if comments are closed on that particular topic. So, it doesn't make that much of a difference. Since I moderate here, though, I don't close comments too often because deleting negative stuff before anyone else here sees it is easily done. It helps so that things don't get out of hand while I'm not around - like used to happen! :) If I didn't moderate comments, I'd probably close comments on most posts because of our resident trolls who seem to have way too much time on their hands these days and usually comment something you wouldn't want to read on just about every post. :( I've thought about closing comments altogether, but I really do not want to do that. I love the dialogue and thoughtful responses here and think it would be very boring if it were just one-sided!
Just this morning, after church, I watched my 4 little blessings bound out of our 10 yr. old minivan and the thought came to me that they are sooo worth not having the newest thing. It is sad to me that in my circle, having 4 kids makes us a huge family. Thanks for your boldness & truth!
Hello Crystal,
I'm am so happy for the Duggars everytime a new blessing is added to their family. And, sadly, have heard many unkind remarks.
I grew up in a family with 8 children which seems large by today's standard's but very small compared to the Duggars:)
One time at the grocery store, my mother had 4 of us with her and someone asked her incredulously "Are they ALL yours?!" To which my wise mother looked right into the exclaimant's eyes and asked "Which one do you want me to put back?".
Take Care,
Trixie
Thank you for writing about them! I don't have the energy right now to blog about them and deal with comments etc.
What has shocked me the most is the snide, ridiculing comments by other Christians, and even accusations of abuse and/or neglect lobbed at the Duggars because of how they have arranged the practicalities of family life (buddy-system, blanket training, etc). Of course there is also the ridicule of how they dress and the ever-present implication that the children must be totally miserable because they look so happy. Argh. From Christians. :( It just steams me to hear that stuff.
I think the Duggars are an incredible witness and I would love, someday, to have that many children filling up our home with joy!
Thank you sister Crystal for posting your great article on the Duggar family. They are one of my favorite families. Mrs. Duggar is a godly woman and it is obvious she has dedicated her life in service to the King of King and Lord of Lords, Jesus Christ.
What a blessing to observe this family. Praise God that there are 17 children being raised by the Duggars. Mrs. Duggar is one of my role models.
It seems lots of people are getting upset with this family. The Bible says, "All who live Godly in Christ Jesus WILL BE PERSECUTED."
They are being persecuted for following the Bible and for treating and welcoming children as the blessings they are.
Ladies, if we are asked about the size of our family in public let us not be ashamed to share the Word of God with them. Each time someone asks us if they are all ours we can glady tell them what a blessing it is to have each one of them.
Here is something that noone wants to ever talk about it seems - while we can all do our best to raise children with a faith in God THERE IS NO GUARANTEE. A parent cannot make that choice for their child. I have known many godly families, absolutely precious, beautiful families where a child strays. Yes, they sometimes return later in adulthood but it is heartbreak. Never ever EVER assume our children will follow God. Hope, pray, teach and pray some more but do not assume.
Therefore, count the cost. Having a house of 12 children expecting them to all be godly examples may not happen. What then? Will you still trust and thank God? I believe that is what we are called to do. Our children are only ours for a time. We can pray and pray and pray that they are blessings to those around them and lights to the world but if they are not, resolve to not be a hypocrite and rescind the statement that children are all blessings. This statement should have NO qualifications on it!
Anonymous: This is something that is very close to my heart as I, like you, have seen precious families with children who have strayed. I have also, though, seen this happen in many families who have focused on the outward appearance rather than the heart of their children and when their child turns 18 or 20, they are no longer willing to be a carbon-copy of their parents. It's sad, but true, that there are a lot of parents - who, in trying to do everything "right" on the outside - missed the whole point of reaching their child's heart. As Jesse and I always say, we don't want carbon-copies, we want to raise Christ-followers. This is one thing I especially appreciated about Voddie Baucham's book, Family Driven Faith. We need to be seeking to reach out child's heart through our words and teaching and, most importantly, by our example.
None of us can guarantee anything on this earth. None of us deserve anything outside of eternal damnation. The most important thing is that we are faithful and obedient to the Lord. The end results are in God's hands. And God does bless obedience. It doesn't mean life will always be easy or that everything will turn out exactly as we have planned, but there is blessing in walking in faith and obedience to the Lord. "He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."
Thank you for posting about the Duggers...I love to keep up with their family and watch how organized they are...much better than I am.:)
I am the oldest of 8 children and when I was growing up I thought we were so unfortunate because we didn't have all the "things" that other families had but now that I am grown and had two kids of my own I see how very "FORTUNATE" we really were to have parents that kept us in church and raised us the right way. We didn't have everything but we were fed, happy and loved. Daddy took care of us the best he could and we only had assistance a couple of times...that was when he lost his job when the factory he worked at closed down.
My husband and I wanted to have more children but we never got to....I had to have a hysterectomy and was so sad that their would never be any more children....but now I have an adorable grandson that is almost 2 and I get to baby sit him 5 days a week...I love that little guy so much and he is just like having my very own..:)
If I could go back and do things over...there would be a lot more childen in my family for sure...thanks for letting me go on and on...
I have five children "on the outside," and one being knit within, and while God has gifted us with many people who are thrilled for our new addition, I know there are many more who either have never thought through what the Bible says about children being blessings, or are determined not to.
Someday I think it would be fun to compile a list of some of the famous people in history who were in the "latter ranks" of their large families. Off the top of my head there's Benjamin Franklin (#15 of 17) Samuel and Jonathan Wesley (In the "teens" of their family) and their mother Susanna - herself #20 or 21, if I remember right - this is why I would have to write the list down!
Wouldn't that make a fun t-shirt? "Other famous people from large families....." God has used large (and small!) families to advance his kingdom throughout history. The main thing is to trust his plan. That's what being "quiverfull" is all about, not so much trying to have alot of kids, but trusting God to provide His plan for your life.
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