Input requested: Home birth vs. hospital birth
I am wondering if you could help me with my current struggle of deciding where to have my baby this summer. We have no freestanding birthing centers in my area like the one you described in your first birth story (there is one, but it did not offer much beyond what you would have in your own home). So I am stuck between having my baby in a hospital or doing a home birth. I have been doing lots of research on which is better and which is safer and it is very difficult to come to any final conclusions. My heart so wants to have the baby at home, but some say it's too risky. My husband supports either choice and wants most of all for me to feel comfortable.The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology recently stated that Any birth outside a hospital (including birth centers!) is unsafe. At the same time I have read and witnessed that hospital births involve a high level of intervention and often unnecessary surgical procedures. The more I research the debate, the more I see how passionate each side (home birth midwives vs. OBs) is in declaring that their method is the safest. I want to be a good steward of the modern resources God has allowed in this era, but I also want to ensure that my birthing experience is free from unnecessary interference. - Summer
First off, Summer, you are absolutely right that this is an area where people can easily "take sides" and get all animated about why their chosen method of birthing is "the only right way." I think I've heard it all: From being told that I'm "crazy and stupid" to choose to have a natural birth in a birthing center to being told I'm not being "natural enough" to have a baby at a birthing center and "home birth is the only way to go." I've just learned to smile and brush it off. What works for someone else, doesn't always work for me and no matter what they think of me, what decisions we make concerning birth are our decisions based upon what we feel is best in our case.
I don't think there is "one right way" to have a baby, though I will readily admit that I am leery of any medical institution which views pregnancy, labor, and delivery as a "disease." I think that you must seriously consider all your options, your personality, your desires for labor and delivery, your medical history and health, and, of course, your husband's preferences. For different people, that will mean different results.
For me, I'm a healthy young woman who prefers to do things naturally whenever possible and to take personal responsibility for my health and well-being, so non-traditional birthing very much appealed to me. I also wanted to have experienced female care providers (if at all possible) for my prenatal and postnatal care, and for my labor and delivery itself. I liked the thought of being able to labor at home for a good part of the birth and then going to a place with good care but where I was still free to labor as felt best and not be required to be certain positions or to be strapped to monitors.
A free-standing birth center was the perfect fit for us for Kathrynne's birth and her birth was a very wonderful experience. My favorite part of all was laboring in the jacuzzi up until I was complete. Not only did this seem to speed up my labor a great deal (I went from a 4 to complete in less than an hour and a half and never seemed to hit the transition stage) but it was very relaxing to me so the pain was never unbearable. I think that having such calm and proficient and encouraging help at my birth made all the difference in the world. Because of complications during the afterbirth, I was very grateful to be in the care of a well-trained nurse and certified nurse midwife.
We had such a wonderful experience with Kathrynne's birth that Jesse and I have pretty much decided a free-standing birthing center with competent care providers, a calm environment, a natural, relaxed approach to birthing, and a jacuzzi (!), is our first choice of birthing options. However, since we moved to a new town, going to our old birth center is not an option, so we recently found a new birth center on the free-standing birth centers website and have been very pleased with them so far. We'll see how everything turns out!
A couple of thoughts for you:
If you decide to go the birthing center or homebirth route, make sure to have a clear backup plan in place. In case of emergency, you don't want to be too far from a hospital in my opinion.
And with this in mind, go into birth with a plan, but don't feel badly if things don't go according to plan. If you planned to have a natural homebirth and things went awry and you end up with a C-section, that is okay. You're not any less of a woman! :)
Some hospitals and doctors are now much more lenient with births and will allow you to labor and birth how you want to. However, if you want to be free from unnecessary interference, as you said, be sure you check things out very thoroughly. Just because someone says you won't have to do something or can have a natural birth at the hospital doesn't always mean they are going to give you that much freedom when the time actually comes.
Make sure you have very competent care providers and make sure you feel very comfortable with them. I think that your care providers can either make your birth a wonderful experience - even if you have a hard birth - or a horrible experience - even if you have a relatively easy birth. So, make sure you and your husband feel very comfortable with them ahead of time.
Lastly, read good books on natural birthing and don't listen to any of the "horror stories" that ladies seem to love to scare first-time moms with. Being tense and fearful is one of the worst things to do during birth. Go into birth well-prepared mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, have a "can-do" attitude, and keep your eyes on the Lord. Whatever happens, it can be a beautiful experience!
And now: I'm opening up the floor to the rest of you ladies to share your input on this. However, please do not turn this into a debate over birthing methods. Also, please do not share "horror stories." Feel free to share why you chose the method of birthing you did and your thoughts from your experience for Summer. Also, please feel free to add to my input above on how to choose a birthing method.
I don't think there is "one right way" to have a baby, though I will readily admit that I am leery of any medical institution which views pregnancy, labor, and delivery as a "disease." I think that you must seriously consider all your options, your personality, your desires for labor and delivery, your medical history and health, and, of course, your husband's preferences. For different people, that will mean different results.
For me, I'm a healthy young woman who prefers to do things naturally whenever possible and to take personal responsibility for my health and well-being, so non-traditional birthing very much appealed to me. I also wanted to have experienced female care providers (if at all possible) for my prenatal and postnatal care, and for my labor and delivery itself. I liked the thought of being able to labor at home for a good part of the birth and then going to a place with good care but where I was still free to labor as felt best and not be required to be certain positions or to be strapped to monitors.
A free-standing birth center was the perfect fit for us for Kathrynne's birth and her birth was a very wonderful experience. My favorite part of all was laboring in the jacuzzi up until I was complete. Not only did this seem to speed up my labor a great deal (I went from a 4 to complete in less than an hour and a half and never seemed to hit the transition stage) but it was very relaxing to me so the pain was never unbearable. I think that having such calm and proficient and encouraging help at my birth made all the difference in the world. Because of complications during the afterbirth, I was very grateful to be in the care of a well-trained nurse and certified nurse midwife.
We had such a wonderful experience with Kathrynne's birth that Jesse and I have pretty much decided a free-standing birthing center with competent care providers, a calm environment, a natural, relaxed approach to birthing, and a jacuzzi (!), is our first choice of birthing options. However, since we moved to a new town, going to our old birth center is not an option, so we recently found a new birth center on the free-standing birth centers website and have been very pleased with them so far. We'll see how everything turns out!
A couple of thoughts for you:
If you decide to go the birthing center or homebirth route, make sure to have a clear backup plan in place. In case of emergency, you don't want to be too far from a hospital in my opinion.
And with this in mind, go into birth with a plan, but don't feel badly if things don't go according to plan. If you planned to have a natural homebirth and things went awry and you end up with a C-section, that is okay. You're not any less of a woman! :)
Some hospitals and doctors are now much more lenient with births and will allow you to labor and birth how you want to. However, if you want to be free from unnecessary interference, as you said, be sure you check things out very thoroughly. Just because someone says you won't have to do something or can have a natural birth at the hospital doesn't always mean they are going to give you that much freedom when the time actually comes.
Make sure you have very competent care providers and make sure you feel very comfortable with them. I think that your care providers can either make your birth a wonderful experience - even if you have a hard birth - or a horrible experience - even if you have a relatively easy birth. So, make sure you and your husband feel very comfortable with them ahead of time.
Lastly, read good books on natural birthing and don't listen to any of the "horror stories" that ladies seem to love to scare first-time moms with. Being tense and fearful is one of the worst things to do during birth. Go into birth well-prepared mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, have a "can-do" attitude, and keep your eyes on the Lord. Whatever happens, it can be a beautiful experience!
And now: I'm opening up the floor to the rest of you ladies to share your input on this. However, please do not turn this into a debate over birthing methods. Also, please do not share "horror stories." Feel free to share why you chose the method of birthing you did and your thoughts from your experience for Summer. Also, please feel free to add to my input above on how to choose a birthing method.
posted by Crystal Paine at 9:18 AM
49 Comments:
I have had all 7 of my children at the hospital. I think you will find, if you chose to give birth at a hospital, that they DO want you to stay at home and labor as long as possible, and I was never strapped into anything, I sat in a whirlpool, etc, they never took the baby from me, the baby stayed with me at all times, even through the night and they even let me sleep with the baby...all at the hospital. I have babies in 2 different states and had many different nurses and doctors and have never run into what many people talk about. It's best to call the hospital to see what their procedure is instead of assuming that other's opinions are factual. I think the main objective is to have a baby! :) The outcome is the same and although many are romantic about the Little House on the Prairie days, many women and infants died in childbirth the old-fashioned, natural way. That's not meant to be a "horror" statement, that's just a fact. :) These are little lives (and our own) we're putting on the line...I figure prepare for the worst and pray for the best.
Dear Sommer, I know this is a difficult decision to make, but remember that regardless of which route you take, God's will for the health of you and your baby will prevail. For the record, my first baby was born in the hospital (not a good experience in my case), the next three were born in my home, and the one I'm carrying will be born in a friend's home (the state we now live in frowns heavily on midwives/homebirth so we're going across the state line).
We're planning on having peanut for a few reasons...
The main reason is that we get the best insurance coverage using an OB and a hospital than any alternative method.
The second reason is that I've researched a few procedures extensively (I can recite some of them in my sleep!), and can understand the pros and cons to each (episiotomy, rupturing membranes, etc) with a clear head BEFORE labor.
The third reason (and certainly not less important) is that I also thoroughly researched my practitioner and her practice. I'm not adverse to a male doctor, but I wanted a younger woman if possible. She's 34, affiliated with 3 hospitals in our area, and very open to the least medical intervention as possible if you're having a healthy, 'normal' pregnancy. She understands my concerns over being cut, fetal monitoring (I'll do the required hour), C-section (absolutely not unless the baby is in distress), and even pain medicine (I'm going through the consults and such, but am going into this with an open mind. If I'm dying at 4, I'll take the meds. If I'm cruisin' at 8, forget it!). Overall, she has been really calming in an otherwise confusing and somewhat scary (its my first!) time.
I'm not condemning home births or birthing centers, but I do like that I'm REQUIRED to stay at the hospital for 3 days afterwards (4 if C Section). I want to be monitored, and I want baby to be monitored to make sure everything is happening as it is supposed to. :) And, admittedly, I'll have just given birth...my hospital of choice offers spa services as part of their stay for new moms. Who WOULDN'T want that? ;)
Good luck to all you other mommies to be!! :)
Mamas give birth to healthy babies everyday. In a hospital, in a car, in their bedrooms, it really doesn't seem to matter in the majority of situations!
I am having my 6th in May and I have always had hospital births which, so far, have all turned out just fine (5 different hospitals, we are military). This is what I prefer. I am more comfortable in this environment and when you are having a baby comfort is key. I let the hospital staff know what I expect and I know that as long as my baby is healthy we can leave at any time if things don't feel right - a hospital is not a prison. That doesn't mean that everybody will feel comfort with this which is why midwives, doulas, and such alternatives are great. Doctors are not idiots but they certainly aren't all-knowing either. Pray and God will lead you to the birth experience He has planned for you.
One more thing - if you are pushing a baby out you are having a natural birth, in my opinion :). At least my 5 vag births felt pretty natural to me! :)
Oh yeah, Congratulations!
Many studies have shown that for low risk pregnancies birthing out of hospital is just as safe as birthing in one. The only difference was that the out of hospital births had lower rates of interventions and c-sections. And of course the OB/GYN associations are going to say it's unsafe because if you don't birth in a hospital you take away their business!
You should also know that the only difference between a home birth and birth center birth is location. Your midwife will have the same equiptment either way, just in the latter she brings it to your house. The midwife also does all the cleanup either way.
I highly recommend reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer. Ina May's will give you confidence to trust your body. Goer's goes through every intervention listing the pros/cons so you're well informed, though it does have a natural childbirth slant. Also, there are some great natural birthing resources at www.mothering.com and in their forums.
Also, most midwives will do a free consult, so you can make appoinments with a few, see if you like them, and ask any questions you want of them about the risk of homebirth, their experience, their rate of transfers/complications, how they handle complications, etc. Then you can decide whether to go with the midwife or an OB.
Good luck with your decision!
Oh, I should add that I had a hospital birth with my son and was very unsatisfied. That is why I am choosing a homebirth with this upcoming one. I have lots of friends who had very positive out of hospital births as well!
I didn't think much about it while pregnant with my 1st, b/c frankly, I found it all very overwhelming. I ended up going into early labor at 35 wks, and b/c my amnio levels were low (after 2 days of "water breaking") and baby was breach, I had a c-section. My mom had a c-section, so to me, it was actually a little less scary (i didn't grow up around births, babies, etc). The hospital I was at was really great - the nurses were really wonderful, and the nicu nurses made sure that i nursed my baby well :) to the point of a bit of modest discomfort on my part - but by cracky, i nursed that baby! my ob is an older man, but is very laid back, go with the flow. i'm sticking with him for baby #2 (which will also be a c-section...i'm trusting his guidance on this one after much thought, etc...) b/c i know him, and i know he doesn't go for the unneccessary just to make his life easier. to me, he's the closest to a midwife i can get :) so all in all, even tho' i didn't think about it beforehand, and even tho' i kind of had the decision put on me b/c of the situation, i ended up being very happy with a hospital birth, and with a very supportive staff of things like nursing, etc... but it really just depends on the hospital and the dr. you have. (this dr has also seen me thru 2 miscarriages this year, and has always opted for me to take the natural route, with drugs :), which in hindsight was a good decision for me. so to me it's not about hospital vs. home/birth center, but rather how you feel about the particular places involved. friends of mine in the same town had hospital births with dr's that were not comparable to my experience at all...and other friends who had birth centers who were very happy.
sahm - 2yr old and 1 on the way
Well, this subject is close to my heart being almost 16 weeks pregnant with our third child.
I did all the research for my first birth. I wanted natural, but went to the hospital where I had been working. They were definately more medically minded in practice than they spoke about in preceding conversations (- and I had many). I ended up with a C-section. For my second, we sought a different type of center. We found an office offering MDs or midwives or both. We choose midwives. We had a great experience and a successful VBAC. We are returning to the same office this time. The only problem is that it is 1 hour and 15 minutes away from my house. However, I love the mindset of the midwives and yet the convienence of emergency medical care if needed(which my husband and I felt was necessary for us for our VBAC).
I always loved the concept of a home birth in theory, but being in the medical profession myself, I was more relaxed being in an enviroment where I knew that medical care could be provided immediately, yet was not being pushed upon us at any time.
I have had all my three sons in a very good hospital back in NY and really don't have anything negative to say about giving birth in a hospital. I however now live in a small town in Florida and we only have one local hospital in our area with a materntiy unit. Because my blood pressure was high with my last pregnancy (back in NY) a home birth wouldn't, I believe, been an option for me anyway. There is a very good birthing center in Fort Myers which is about 45 minutes away (If I were to plan to have another child God willing). As long a baby is born healthy that is all that really matters. I would say that there are sometimes reasons why women have to give birth in hospitals and you may not have a choice and I was one of them. I did receive excellent care and they had a wonderful nicu there which my first son had to go to immediately after birth. With God's grace and a wonderful staff there, my son was discharged the same day I was except a few hours later.
Good luck and God Bless You! Whichever way you choose God will keep you and your newborn safe.
Hi Sommer,
Congrats on becoming a momma! Many blessings for you and yours. I would like to share with you my thoughts for two reasons. Before I had my daughter 6 months ago I worked in nursing since 2001. First and foremost as your sister in Christ, I ask that you pray for God's direction and wisdom in making this choice. He will lead you towards what is best. Secondly, as a nurse who has worked in various OB and Neonatal settings I am not at Liberty to comment on how you should deliver. I do want to share with you some of my professional and personal thoughts. Do not let any one under any circumstances try and make you feel like less of a woman if you choose to have an epidural or if you need a C-section. I hate hate hate the wars that women have over which way is the best. There are no medals given for anyway of deliverly nor is there a cash prize (wouldn't it be great if there was?) And remember that you are in pursuit of a goal: A healthy and Safe delivery first and foremost. Pray and seek out professionals that support you, listen to you and are educated on the vast and beautiful aspects of chilbirth. This is a beautiful time for you and your husband, enjoy it and don't let anyone make this choice for you. Every BODY is different, what is right for me may not be right for you. PRAY PRAY PRAY and you will be directed. We love you and are praying for you.
With my first baby, I sort of ended up with a couple different options combined, which has helped to shape my views for our baby that is due in June. We planned a homebirth with our midwife. We did all of early labor at home, by ourselves, then once hard labor began the midwives arrived (there are usually rules about having two midwives at a home birth, to add to the safety of both Mom and baby). We stayed at home through 17 hours of hard labor and transition, and it was the most wonderful, initimate experience. I used both my bathtub at first, and then a birthing pool in my living room (both of which were very helpful).
Unforunately, after 17 hours dilation started to go backwards with some swelling, and since baby was posterior, the backpain had become excrutiating without an end in sight and I was near the end of my rope. My midwife wisely recommended that we transfer to the hospital where I had pre-registered in case of emergency.
My hospital experience, although it included many interventions which I had been strongly opposed to including epidural (at the recommendation of my midwife, to allow my body to relax and stop the swelling), pitocin (to keep contractions strong while lying down with the epidural), all the usual monitoring and an IV plus oxygen mask at times, and eventually an episiotomy (as it is extrememly difficult to push out a badly positioned baby when you are immobile, and her heart rate began to drop after nearly 4 hours of pushing).
You may think that all sounds horrible and exactly why many women want to avoid the hospital. That's how I felt for weeks and months afterwards, and it has only been in speaking to my midwives, my husband and friends, and bringing my disappointment before the Lord that I now have peace about it. The fact is that although I fully believe in natural childbirth, as God intended our bodies to be able to bring forth children, there has always been at least a small percentage of women who experience a very difficult or dangerous labor. I did not expect to be in that position, but that is exactly where I found myself. I am so grateful that I providentially live in a time and place where I had access to the best medical care for me and my baby. We both came out of it perfectly fine, and the end result was the same- I gave birth (and yes, I still gave birth vaginally, despite the interventions and I would still have "given birth" even if I ended up with a c/s) to my beautiful daughter.
Our hospital experience showed us that although we believe the most natural, initimate birth experience is the ideal (certainly for us, anyways) that any birth experience can still be beautiful and miraculous if we allow it to be. Although I still firmly believe in the safety of home births, I was grateful to have a midwife who knew her limitations and cared more about our safety than her pride or than a stubborn conviction.
We will try a home birth again this time, and Lord willing, we will have our baby without intervention, with only family and close friends (and midwife) there, and I will cherish the ability to immediately curl up in my own bed to nurture my newborn.
Thanks for bringing up this issue! I think it's an important one for Christian women to discuss and get some of the assumptions and false ideas out of the way.
Blessings, Sommer! May your birth be beautiful no matter where it is!
God has not given my husband & I children yet so I can't comment from personal experience. However, I am a nurse and most recently I worked in Maternal-Child Health. From that experience it seems to me that your care providers (your OB, and the nurses you get in the hospital) make a HUGE difference in your birthing experience. In the same hospital you can get care providers who will work with you and honor your wishes as far as making your labor & delivery as intervention-free as possible, and yet you can also get providers who are actually hostile toward you voicing your own opinions on the matter. The difficult part is that, while you can be sure you know your OB very well, you won't know your nurses ahead of time. I think free-standing birthing centers are great. I personally would probably be a little leery of home birth because I've seen how quickly things can go wrong, but that's just me. I do think home birth is beautiful and the most natural, though.
Anyway, may the Lord give you wisdom to make the right decision! And congratulations on your little one!
I think the most important thing is to do your research on what you want your labor to be like and clearly understand your own expectations about labor before you make up your mind about where to go. Some women decide to go with medicated births, and some decide they would rather go natural. I recommend Henci Goer's book "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" and also Dr. Sears' book "The Birth Book" for detailed descriptions of the pros and cons of each method. The thing is, if you decide you really want a natural childbirth, you need to be CERTAIN about your hospital and OB practice in advance. I had my first baby in a hospital with an OB practice that was VERY supportive of natural childbirth, never does routine episiotomies, understood I wanted to avoid unneccessary c-sections, etc. However, the hospital itself had some policies that I found counter-productive to natural labor. I just didn't know I had to ask about those things in advance. In hindsight, I wish I had gone to the maternity ward with my birth plan and asked if they were going to let me do what I wanted. At least if I had known they wouldn't let me in advance, i would have been better prepared.
I did have a natural birth in the hospital, even though it didn't go exactly as planned and I wound up very disappointed with some aspects of it due to those hospital policies. This time (I'm due in June) I will be going to a birth center.
If you do go with a birth center or homebirth, just do a lot of research on the midwife, her experience level, and the backup plan she has. For example, at our birth center, if something goes wrong you can be in the operating room at the nearby hospital in five minutes or less, and the midwives and backup OB all have full privileges there. Most midwives for homebirths have similar backup arrangements, AND they are trained to spot things going wrong in PLENTY of time to get you to a hospital if the need arises.
I hope God gives you peace one way or another with your decision, and that your birth is safe and uneventful!
Hmn... hospitals in the US right now have a 29% rate of c-section. (They admit it should be more like 5%, and are working to reduce it.)
Mortality might be the same for home or hospital births, but interventions are much higher in a hospital.
But, I know people who actually say they really like just having a c-section. I've known lots of women who go to the hospital and get induced because (in their words) they were just tired of being pregnant.
Really, though, a lot depends on your individual midwife or doctor. I've known doctors who were less inclined to do an episiotomy than some midwives. One of the mistakes some make is to get a midwife, and then just trust her in everything, like so many do with their doctors.
Education is an asset when it comes to having a positive birth experience. And statistics don't mean everything, but they are something to consider. If your doctor has a 75% episiotomy rate, but claims he only performs them when absolutely necessary, you're risking being in that 75% who "absolutely need it".
Lol. Of course the Obstetricians and hospitals don't want women to have babies at home. ;) My parents who are family practice doctors but haven't delivered any babies in a few years are the first to recognize that there are definately financial aspects behind such findings. ;) Actually, my mother has said many times she would love to be my "midwife" at a homebirth but worries about the liabilities of such a thing in regards to her medical liscence.
For Sommer, I highly recommend that you immediately get yourself two books--"The Thinking Woman's Guide to Better Birth" by Henci Goer, and "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. Neither is anti-medicine, but they do encourage a way of viewing birth as a normal, natural process (rather than disease) and Henci Goer's book is full of research, charts, real numbers, and so on to help you figure out what is safest and best for *you*.
I had my first two children in hospitals. The first experience was awful, even though it was a short and easy labor by most standards. I'm hoping for a birth center birth this time, though I'd love to have our babies at home. We don't have any local midwives here who will do homebirths, alas. I think it's *possible* to have a great, natural birth in a hospital (I had one with my second child). What bothers me so much is that in general, if you have a "traditional" OB, the minute you hit 30 weeks or so, the pressure is on. Ultrasounds to tell you the baby is too big, inductions to avoid it, procedures and rules for liability reasons (like you may be told you can't get up and walk around if your water has broken, as happened to an aquaintance of mine), and so on. That is what I want to avoid. It took a lot of guts last time around to avoid an induction, as my midwives backup doctor was insistent after an ultrasound that I couldn't possibly deliver my big baby naturally. He scared the daylights out of me, and even more so when I went past my due date, then to 41 weeks, then past 42 weeks! As it happens, I had a midwife attended hospital birth and pushed out a healthy 10 pound baby in 4 hours. :) Never saw a doctor during the birth, either, which was fine by me. Still the pressure to induce during the latter part of the pregnancy meant that I spent those weeks in abject misery and worry. Thank God for a supportive, praying husband.
After reading the books I mentioned above, you may have a clearer idea of the risks vs the benefits of homebirth. Whichever route you go, it's important to ask lots of questions--what are c-section rates at the hospital you'll be delivering? epidural rates? induction rates? What are their policies about breech (auto c-section or not)? What are their policies about length of labor, what you can do in labor, whether IV is required, etc? It's important to know all these things in order to make an informed decision, and to be able to educate yourself and stand for what you believe in, even if it goes against medical advice.
I am looking forward to using the birth center this time (jacuzzi!!! Yay!) but I am also planning a just-in-case homebirth scenario. Given the length of my last labor, it may turn out to be safer and more comfortable to stay at home, rather than risk the 30 minute drive into the city. ;)
With my little blessing,(whose two and half now), I chose the hospital way. When I found out I was pregnent, I was at a stage where I thought I couldn't have children.Actually I went to the doctor thinking I was sick and talking to her about fertility tests and before she gave me some medicine, She said let's check just to be sure and lo and behold she came in laughing and said 'Honey you don't have to worry! You are very pregnent!'
I don't have a lot of people to turn to. My husband's stepmother who has always been so good to me, is a RN. She said 'I'll find you the best that your insurance will cover(our insurance are the same). And A couple weeks later, she called. And when my husband and I went to the appointment, we knew she found us a great doctor. He is Christian and made us feel like we were in great hands. Never felt like we were pressured into tests they were just recommended. Always felt very cared for plus our insurance has a nurse hotline for pregnent women.
I wanted as natural as possible but about a couple weeks in the last stages my son still hadn't turn. My doctor always explained everything. I afraid that I was going to have to a c-section. Then my son turned right before his 'due date' It was about a week overdue and he suggested we try induce, if I wanted. I prayed and I felt like he was right. So we went that next Tuesday. They induce my labor and I dilated to 5 then I slowed down. After they broke my water, I got 8 and I went back and forth for a while. I ended up having a c-section. My doctor wanted all possible to have natural childbirth because that was what I wanted. My c-section wasn't as bad as the'horror' stories I was told. I have no regret because I know God was with me and that is most important.
My hospital was great toward me. I have asthma and had a couple of attacks and had to have breathing treatments so I felt secure in the hospital.
Finally My advice to anyone..
Research each birth methods and caregivers.
PRAY! PRAY! PRAY! God will lead you just make sure you are listening. I prayed for my pregnecy and my baby before he even existed, and all during. I didn't go to any birthing classes, in pain I meditated on the Word, prayed, and RESTED! During in my pregnecy, I was having problems with my husband and his family, I didn't Enjoy It Like I should have because of other people, So don't let worrys and other People Rob you of this most wonderful time!
So Pray and Be happy!
I wanted to add something to my last comment.
I don't think having various interventions makes a woman less of a woman, or a birth less of a birth. Babies are blessings no matter how they come out. My avoidance of them is not because I want to be "super woman". It's because I want the best, healthiest, least complicated birth possible. ;)
I did have some pain meds with my first birth (Stadol) and while it didn't make me "less of a woman", it sure didn't help the birth experience. What was already scary, heavily managed, and overwhelming simply became even more frightening with the addition of the drug. Yuck. No pain relief, just fuzzy thinking. Not at all helpful!
My second birth was wonderful even though it was in the hospital. I don't consider myself to have a "badge" for having such a great natural birth. But I can say that on the inside I felt so incredibly empowered by the experience. Having been told I couldn't do it, I went ahead and did it anyway, and that was just amazing!
I was not a better woman the second time around. But I was certainly a happier, more confident woman. ;)
I had half of mine in the hospital & half @ home. We have 6 wonderful blessings. I was content to have my children in a hoapital & would have been very scared to have them at home. When our second was born our first was in a playpen (in the bathroom of the hospital)sound asleep. It was his naptime & he loved routine. When I had our third it was hard leaving my two with Grandma. Pregnant for my 4th we had to give up our insurance - my husband said we needed to consider homebirth @ this point we new a few people who had their babies @ home. After I talked to the midwife I could not wait to have my baby @ home! The prenatal care has been wonderful, the appointments always lasted an hour or more. She was very good about explaining things and making sure we were part of the decisions. She would let the kids help with blood pressure and explain to them what was going on. It was abig diffrence from my usual 10-15 min. app. with the doctor that acted bothered if I had a question. (not all doctors are like that) I enjoyed being home and was very relaxed (which probley explains my longer labors). I was also thankful that my midwife felt if anything was not right we would head strait for the hospital. May the Lord bless your pregnancy & give you peace about your choice.
Thanks Crystal for asking - it is really fun to read all the different views.
I have 5 children. The first 2 I used the most wonderful OB for, but I hadn't thought to check my birth plan with the hospital beforehand. I discovered that many of the things I had discussed with my OB were not "normal hospital procedure". As soon as my doctor left the room the nurses would try to talk me into doing things their way which was extremely annoying and made my labor much more difficult. My OB closed his practice when I was pregnant with my 3rd and I really wasn't comfortable birthing in our local hospital with another OB, but my husband wasn't comfortable with a homebirth. We ended up compromising with a certified nurse midwife in the hospital. Midwives generally stay with you the whole time, so she was able to ward off the nurses when they started bothering me. I still felt like I was swimming upstream to have the type of birth I wanted though. With our 4th I made a consultation apt with 2 licensed midwives and let my husband grill them about all his worries about homebirth. He decided that we could try a homebirth. The birth was wonderful. We both decided that we would never plan a hospital birth again without having serious medical reasons. With our 5th we chose to have an unassisted homebirth and it was the best birth I've had. I found that many of the "problems" I had with my hospital births just didn't happen with my homebirths. I think the lack of interventions and being so much more relaxed helped tremendously.
When we were expecting our first we did not know much other than the traditional method, so we researched our doctors and hospitals and chose so that we would have lots of support but limited medical interference.
This was clearly a God thing because in the end we required an emergency C-section - without it I seriously doubt if I would have my precious daughter.
We make these decisions looking at the evidence etc. But might I suggest the best way to make this decision is to look to the Great Physician for His guidance? We are all called to walk according to His will, but for each of us it looks different, including in child birth.
So I think that in the end it is His opinion that matters the most. Ask Him, and spend time seeking His opinion. He loves you very much and wants to help you.
Kristy
I've already commented, but just had to again :-) since no one has mentioned it yet. Midwives are VERY well trained, and continue their (formal) raining every year. They can usually tell beforehand if there is going to be a problem during delivery and if so, transfer the woman directly to the hospital rather than take a risk. Many midwives partner with OBs for that extra peace-of-mind (in case you are transferred to a hospital you'll have someone familiar w/your history). Midwives are also very well versed in what to do if they do encounter unexpected problems and they carry a lot of medical equipment to births just in case... What I've appreciated about using a midwife is that she's there (in person, usually with several assistants) monitoring all that is going on ALL the time. In my hospital birth, my baby was in distress but the electronic monitors did not pick it up and therefore no one knew. However, when the doctor entered the room, all it took was one look from across the room to know there was trouble. If a person rather than a machine had been watching all the time, we would have been much better off in this case.
I'm a huge wimp when it comes to pain, and my decision to have homebirths with midwives has nothing to do with avoiding certain medical procedures (I'd welcome an epidural!) Frankly, I just feel it's safer away from a hospital. I think a birth at a birthing center with a midwife present would be heaven. There's not one near us, though.
They still do episiotomies? I thought those were ancient history.
I didn't have a plan. I was very sure that I wanted to have my first birth experience in a hospital. Since I live in a crunchy town they were very supportive of natural methods which I could've cared less about.
When my doctor asked me what my plan was I just said, "To have a healthy baby and live through it." Of course I was joking, but he thought it was the best attitude because so many people are disappointed when "their" plans go wrong. I didn't stress about how I was going to have the baby. Being pregnant is stressful enough.
I had my first in the hospital and played it by ear. When I had had enough pain, I asked for an epidural. My second one came so fast that I didn't get a chance to ask. I will say that I was very glad to have nurses taking care of me for three days. I was really sore with my first and lost a lot of blood. I was able to get sufficient rest. My second, I was more comfortable with what to expect. I probably could have had number 2 at home. (Actually, I almost had him in the car)I love my hospital and feel they make the best decisions. I guess it depends on the hospital and the doctor.
Be very vocal about what you want and don't want if you choose to have a hospital birth.
I hope you don't stress out about this decision too much. Enjoy the experience.
Congrats on your first!
Midwives are extremely professional, and not to mention, their reputation and livelihood are at stake. Most will turn you over to their OB/hospital partner if the slightest thing goes awry at any point. This put my hubby and I at ease, that we would end up with the best for whatever situation arose. My first was a hospital birth (21 hrs of labor). My 2nd was a homebirth, waterbirth, and absolutely fabulous (90 min of labor)! But my homebirth was almost sabotaged simply by the fact that my water started leaking 12 hrs before I had any contractions. Had my contractions delayed only a few more hours, my midwife would have transferred me, simply for leaky water (infection issues). I will say this: after my first birth, it took me until my dd was over a year old before I had any interest in EVER doing that again (it was a natural birth). After my home/waterbirth, I told my midwife, I would do that again tomorrow! For our third, we may do home, may do a birth center - every child and every year is different. Just choose while TRUSTING the Lord, not in FEAR. Enjoy!
No horror stories from me. :-)
Both children were hospital births and chosen that way because of female hormonal imbalances & infertility issues and prior surgeries. With the first, that was the only option being pregnant 25 years ago living small borough America and doctoring locally. With the second 13 years ago, the doctor was in private practice with his wife, a midwife(Partners in Women's Healthcare...meaning he and his wife were partners and he and the patient were absolutely partners, too). They both worked through a state university hospital. I opted for his care and natural, a land lover rather than in water, as the priority as with the first child. The first birth required meds near the end due to vomiting(ironically, I didn't have morning sickness with the pregnancy till then. LOL). I was late and guess whose doctor scheduled his vacation for long after I was supposed to have already delivered? There were glitches in the small hospital with too many women, too few labor rooms, and too little doctors yet God worked all out beautifully for me(I labored in a delivery room equipped for everything; how awesome is that!). The second birth required an emergency C-section with me being able to go home when baby dumpling turned 2 days old. He was a very unexpected 10 pounder. I was out shopping and at church within a week.
Our best laid plans with life in general can have an unexpected fork in the road. It's best to examine possibilities concerning what is offered and make decisions with contingency plans in mind in case the other road is traveled. Many babies are born enroute to the birthing center or hospital. They've been born at home for many years, too. My aunt was born on a ship in international waters while dad was on land waiting mom's arrival to the states from Europe. God didn't have hospitals or midwives for Eve. Yet, it's good to know we are all individuals that are apt to do very well in varied settings depending on God's plan gloriously unfolding right before our very eyes. He's watching over the whole process with love; trust His leading.
There are so many decisions it seems that come up when you are going to have your baby and to tell the truth, it is just the beginning!
I personally had all home births for my 4 babies and as a doula that has attended several births, I have seen many different births. Most of the births I have been to are first babies.
First off, you cannot say flat out across the board All homebirths are dangerous or All hospital births are horrible as that is just not true. There is good reasons for modern medicine and training. I do firmly believe that someone well trained in delivering babies should be attending you when you have a baby and these do not fall under the catagory in my opinion of safe homebirth, there are too many variables in birth although it is a natural process.
My mom is a Certified Professional Midwife. She is a highly trained professional and although she does not deliever in the hospital, she has a wonderful working relationship with the local doctors who assisted in her training. She operates a birth center one block from the hospital, she carried oxygen, pitocin (for severe bleeding) as well as is trained in what to do in many other dangerous situations. In the case that it would not be safe to have a homebirth, you would know that most likely in most cases before your pregnancy is over. Because she is well trained, she also knows the small warning signs to watch for and you will be taken to the hospital in those cases. She already has seen some of the uncommon ones, and has had great outcomes.
If you decide to have a home birth, have a doctor that sees you a couple times so if you do go to the hospital you are not an unknown person to them.
If you have a midwife check to see how she was trained, if she took the NARM exam as a CPM or if she is a CNM.
For hospital births, I have seen really nice ones and some really bad ones.
One thing that is good to know is if you have a nurse you do not like and is not treating you nice, you are allowed to "fire" your nurse. Request a different one. Don't keep going with a nurse that is pushing you to do things you do not want to do. Before you go, be aware of the facts, find out the hospitals protocols concerning monitoring, I.V's, induction rates, c-section rates etc. Be also certain of your facts of why you do or do not want something.
Get a doula. I don't say that just because I am one = ) The statistics are fact enough to prove that they reduce c-section rates and also just by having them there even if the birth is traumatic, make the mother have a more positive experience and happier outlook from the birth.
Write a birth plan- but be aware that things change quickly and think of it more as a guide of what you hope to happen.
I think that the least intervention is best for the baby, but there are births where interventions save the baby.
The one thing that I learned that is best when deciding about many things to do with birth is to create a pros and cons list. Write on a chart what are the pros to hospital birth vs. homebirth. Then some of the pros and cons to those things like the interventions, monitoring. By the way, we do monitoring at homebirths also, but with a hand held doppler and not for long periods of time except occasionally. They can do this at the hospital also sometimes if you request it, it just means the nurses have to work a little harder!
Homebirth is not romantic or always better than hospital birth. It is truly where you can relax the best, because you have to be able to be comfortable and able to relax to have a baby. You can in other ways, but it is harder!
I also recommend the 2 books mentioned, especially Ina Mae's. She does have some different beliefs to be a small warning, but has the proof of her outcome with birth!
I enjoy learning about our bodies and birth, God really created us so special and yet sometimes you have to wonder, couldn't there have been a better way? I guess not!
I remember saying "I feel like someone grew and apple in the bottle and it is time to pull it out!" Anyhow, sorry, this is a long comment! I hope that whatever you decide that you are comfortable in your decision and welcome that baby into the world!
I have had two homebirths. The first one at home with a midwife and her assistant. The second one at home with just my husband (and toddler son) around.
To the first anonymous commenter, whether you meant your "Little House on the Prairie" comment to be a horror statement or not, it was one. Childbirth wasn't and isn't dangerous simply by virtue of being childbirth "the old fashioned and natural way". Dietary insufficiencies, hygiene and overall health issues play a major role, lack of education plays a role, superstitions and misconceptions about childbirth play a role...And yes, lack of intervention certainly can play a role. But it's not as black and white as saying, "People DIED in natural childbirth." And frankly the idea that anyone chooses natural childbirth because they have a romanticized idea of the old days is pretty funny!:-D As you said, these are little lives and our own on the line and THAT is why there are people like myself who are passionate about natural childbirth whenever it is possible. Like cappuccinosmom said, she chooses natural birth because she wants the healthiest, safest option.
I choose to avoid interventions with a healthy pregnancy not because I want a superwoman medal (I keep saying, if they're handing out medals for this stuff they forgot me anyway!) but because so often one intervention leads to another. A c-section does not at ALL make a woman a less of a woman but it does carry significant risks to both her, her baby and future babies. Statistically women with c-sections have greater/longer lasting pain, bowel and bladder difficulties. Not to mention the increased chance of needing an emergency hysterectomy. Babies born via c-section have an increased risk of respiratory problems at birth and throughout life. And future pregnancies have an increased risk of being ectopic or for there to be placental problems such as previa or accretia. These are also facts. On the flipside of that is, of course, the major fact that a c-section has given us the means to save both mother and child in situations where once one or both would have lost their lives. That is a good thing and why I am absolutely NOT anti-c-section or anti-intervention but I do think it is so, so important to avoid unnecessarily putting yourself in line for a cascade of interventions. And this does not mean you have to avoid the hospital if that is what you are most comfortable with. I really want to stress that. I absolutely loved giving birth at home. That's the kind of person I am,though. I like to be alone or mostly alone. I liked hopping into my own bed and eating my own food and having completely uninterrupted bonding with my baby. But I have had easy, healthy pregnancies and most importantly had the God-given faith to remain at home. (And live within minutes of a large hospital, should I have needed help.) SO yes, definitely pray about it. God has given us instincts as mothers that we shouldn't ignore and He has also given us husbands to care for us so definitely make sure your husband is on board with whatever option you go for.
My mom had all 12 of her babies in the hospital and she had natural births. For two pregnancies where her babies were breech she was for one of them blessed with a visiting doctor who just happened to be there and was an expert at turning a breech baby and for the other one had a midwife who was experienced with delivering breech babies and really put her at ease about it. In both cases the babies turned and were born uncomplicated. This isn't the norm for all women to have understanding and hands off care providers but it certainly isn't unheard of. Whichever route you go just pray for God to set up a team of care providers that fit you to a t.:-)
Happy birthing!
In our area (upper Midwest USA), I believe there is incredible support for mothers in hospitals. They seem to go the extra mile here and value life. I had all three of my children in a hospital. The first and third births would have resulted in a hospital situation no matter what, and we were grateful for skilled staff to take care of our situations. We were encouraged in our birthing classes to NOT ask for drugs as we would be Okay without them! I confess, with my first, I did have some and had to beg to get them (and probably could have survived without them).
I didn't have time to read all comments - so I apologize in advance if someone has suggested this yet.
If you aren't entirely comfortable with a home birth or birthing center, I would suggest finding out which Drs work with the birthing center & consider seeing him/her. Reason being - if they are supportive of a 'less-traditional' delivery option - they will likely be more accomodating with your personal birth plan.
Congrats & Blessings ~ Tracy
The most important thing to remember, in my humble opinion, is that no matter how well you plan (and you should plan) things may happen differently and you must be flexible enough to allow for that. Never set a certain birth plan up in your mind as the ultimate because you won't know for sure what's best for your exact situation until you're in the situation. So pray and plan and continue to pray that God will guide you through each step. Then enjoy your baby and harbor no guilt!
I love talking about birth! Here's my personal experience:
For my first child, we decided to go with an excellent hospital about an hour from our home. This hospital had a group of certified nurse-midwives practicing there, and I was personally more comfortable going to midwives (all women) as opposed to the OBs (men) who practiced at the hospital closer to our home. I also had the goal of giving birth as naturally as possible, and the midwives were very supportive and encouraging in that respect. I had a great birth experience there; the only complication was that I had very high blood pressure during labor, so I had to be given magnesium sulfate via IV because of possible pre-eclampsia. The mag sulfate made me loopy all the next day, which was NOT fun. But overall, I had an excellent birth.
When I got pregnant with my second child, I decided to try a homebirth rather than hospital. A friend of mine had had her third child via homebirth, and had told me so much about her wonderful experience, that I became very interested in that option. I found a great midwife (state-certified) who I felt very comfortable with. My main concern was the possibility of blood pressure issues during labor, such as I'd had with Sam's birth. My midwife, Sherry, kept a very close eye on my b.p. through pregnancy, and she was the type to be very cautious, as well. If there was a possibility of a problem, I knew she would transfer me immediately to a hospital. As it turned out, Julia was born so quickly that my midwife arrived only 5 minutes before I delivered, and thankfully my b.p. stayed OK throughout. :) I absolutely loved my homebirth experience--Julia was born in the bathtub, of all things! (Not planned--I was laboring in the tub, and all of the sudden she was coming! But it was really cool to have a waterbirth!) I definitely plan to have any future children at home, as well, unless there is some medical reason why I would need to transfer. I was so much more relaxed at home, and just loved being able to get into my own comfy bed and snuggle with my new baby after the birth.
Anyway, all that to say that I personally really loved giving birth at home, and although I had good experiences with both home and hospital, of the two, I definitely preferred home. But it really comes down to what you feel most comfortable with. With my first, I really didn't know what to expect, and was more comfortable with the idea of the hospital. I think a good birthing center would be the best of both worlds for a first baby! But now that I've had a homebirth, I would never go back to a hospital birth unless I had to.
I agree with all the points Crystal made--definitely make sure to find a care provider that you feel very comfortable with, and also read and learn as much as you can ahead of time about the whole birth process. It is vital to be mentally prepared and know what is going on!
Either way that you decide, I hope that you have a wonderful birth experience. :)
Sorry this is so long--I tend to rattle on and on when it comes to talking about birth. :)
I don't think that a first-time mom can really be "prepared" for the pain-- especially if she has never had any major physical trauma in her life. My first came via C-section, but I labored for about 4 hours without any meds-- ouch! When our second child came, I handled the pain sooooo much better (that is, the pain that came prior to receiving an epidural), just because I knew what I was in for and mentally prepared to deal with it. My personal opinion is to have a hospital birth, get the epidural, chit-chat with your husband while the contraction machine scribbles away, and you will still be overwhelmed by the miracle of giving birth. Really, hospitals aren't evil institutions that seek to rob you of a wonderful birth experience.
I had 5 of my 9 children at home and all of them without any medication at all except the last. For my last baby I had a epidural. Why? So I would not be an insufferable mother-in-law someday.Really! You know what? I think that over the years hospitals have gotten better at administering meds so some of the negatives of earlier years are no more. I still felt the urge to push and I loved not having the pain. I still wouldn't trade my homebirths for anything. They were special but then again every birth is special.
I would say try to find a hospital that does not perform abortions. For us this meant a Catholic hospital. The general atmosphere was very pro-child.
Even though I am a doctor myself, and so is my husband, I am not automatically biased toward hospital birth. Both of my children were born in a hospital, because I worked there and I was very comfortable with my doctor (a woman Family Physician) and the nurses. I also had complications which made me so thankful that I delivered in the hospital. I have worked at hospitals where midwives delivered babies there, so that might be an option for someone who wants less intervention through the care of a midwife, but wants to deliver in a hospital in case of complications. My advice would be, if you decide to homebith, first get an ultrasound to make sure that the baby is healthy. There are some medical conditions (heart conditions, stomach conditions, etc.) that can be easily detected on ultrasound, and require surgery almost immediately after birth or the baby will die. If an ultrasound is done to rule out any possible (rare) physical problem that would require immediate intervention, then I think that homebirth would be fine as long as the midwife was very skilled.
I think the most important thing is that you are where you feel safest and most comfortable. For me, it was the hospital. Though with my first baby the midwife and doctor weren't very nice, (though they did mostly leave me and Adam to labour alone which I liked) I felt comfortable knowing that if anything went wrong, there was all sorts of help ready and avaliable on hand. My second pregnancy was twins, and there was no question as to where I would have them! Even if I hadn't have had to be induced, I would have chosen the hospital. When my last baby came I managed to make it to the hospital again, but only just!
For me, after I already had children, I also did not want them to see me giving birth. I do not feel it healthy for such young children to see their mother in that amount of pain, so it made the decision for me to go to hospital a no brainer.
Know that even if you decide to have the baby at home, you can change your mind at any time and scoot over to the hospital. .(I'm hoping I am correct saying this. I know it is so in Australia, but it may be different in the states) You may not feel easy at home, or you may feel that something is not right. Always listen to your gut in times of these during labour.
All the best, whatever you decide to do!
I think some of these comments I read could scare Sommer. I think Sommer and her husband should just discuss what is best for them and not ask for advice. So many different stories. Every birth is different and every mom is different.
For instance, someone mentioned the drug Stadol. I had it and it was horrible. Didn't help with the pain at all.All it did was make me tired. I was like, "Great! Now I'm in pain AND tired!" However, my sister was given it and she loved it. She said it took the edge off and helped her focus. She is not me!
Sommer, I think you and your husband should discuss what YOU guys want and stop asking every Sally, Sue, and Sarah what they did. I think it might discourage you or persuade you from what you really want to do.
I will say that the lady who mentioned maybe having your first at the hospital because of the first time pain of labor, does have a point. I was pretty surprised how much it did hurt and I was glad that I was in a place where they could help me with that. I felt safe. You should be where you feel the safest and securest.
I also recommend "The Thinking Woman's Guide to Better Birth" by Henci Goer. I had two home births and would do it again at home in an instant. After doing research, I felt most comfortable at home. I think birth goes better when you feel comfortable with your surroundings (whether that is having all the things available at the hospital immediately if something goes wrong or feeling comfortable in your own home) and your birth attendants (whether that is a doctor or midwife).
Hey Crystal. I still check in here everyday, I just don't comment as much. :-)
I LOVED this post! I always assumed that giving birth naturally would be a horrible experience, but you made me think twice. :-) I'm not yet married, but I think I'll consider the possibility of the natural birth/midwife things when I have kids. Thanks for the insight!
Blessings,
Sarah
I have a question for Crystal, something I had been wondering about even before this topic came up.
How can a female OB/GYN or a midwife who works at a birth center or hopital be home-based? Obviously there is a very good reason to have women in these positions, but it seems like a stretch to call it a home business. Are they exceptions to the rule, or are they home-based in some way I am missing? I am not trying to be critical or argumentative; I am interested in your opinion.
And on-topic--though I have never given birth the way most people think of it--I want to add that you should not trust any medical professional so completely that you do not trust yourself. If God or your body or your heart is telling you that something is wrong, and your provider brushes you off or denies the problem, get a second opinion. I had searched far and wide to find a pro-life doctor, but she did not believe me when I told her what had been happening to me and she did not take my children seriously. If I had trusted my body and my heart and gotten a second opinion, one of my babies might still be alive.
Young Christian Woman:
Thanks for a great question!
I think that first and foremost a woman's place is in the home, but I'm not a person who believes women should never work in any job outside the home in any circumstance. I've held jobs outside the home before I was married and then after I was married before we had children.
I do believe strongly that a woman should not pursue a self-centered career where she is seeking to build up herself at the expense of her home and family. If a woman is married, her primary responsibility is to her home and husband. If she has children, she is called to be their mother and not to hand them off to someone else to mother for most of their growing up years.
There are always exceptions - as in cases where a woman is widowed, a single mom, unmarried, her husband wants her to work, etc. I can't speak to all of these things adequately as each situation is different.
One reason I am a strong supporter of midwifery and birthing centers is that the model is much more family-friendly in most cases. Most midwives I know are married with families and only do a small number of births each month. Many of them have women come to their home for the prenatal and postnatal appointments. In the case of birthing centers, all birthing centers are different, but the ones we've used have pretty much had a rotating staff - most of the nurses and midwives were moms or grandmas and they only worked 1-2 days a week. Many times, they would bring their babies or young children with them, if they had them.
Mermade/Sarah:
I'm glad you enjoyed the post! I had a really wonderful natural birth with Kathrynne and wouldn't trade it for anything. I know everyone is different, but for me, the pain was about 25% as bad as I thought it was going to be. I'm definitely hoping for another natural birth. I know it's not possible for everyone, but I loved it!
I had wonderful hospital births. I had a midwife deliver my children and it was wonderful. No pain meds were given. I was asked but declined and the staff respected that and never tried to push it on me again. I was glad to be in the hospital. Our hospital allowed my husband to stay with us both nights we were there. Plus our hospital served us GREAT food. They were constitantly feeding me and offering me snacks!! If I would have been at home I wouldn't have taken as much time to rest. Our hospital also lets family and friends be there for the birth as long as they do not interfer or get in the way :) Our hospital births get an A+. Our nurses went above and beyond the call of duty to keep me calm and relaxed. I was offered rocking chairs, a ball to sit on, standing, squating, walking, jacuzzi and whatever else to use. They even have the birthing rooms set up to look a little like a bedroom. I stayed in the same room for everything...no changing rooms for the delivery.
We also asked our church family to pray for us prior to the birth and things went smoothly each time.
Just a note to any first time moms reading...There are a lot of horror stories out there and lots of ladies will gladly share them with you even if you don't want to hear them. Just remember that birth has been around a lot longer than we have. God is in control. If He can take care of the sparrows then he will certainly take care of you. Put your trust in him no matter where you decide to give birth.
I loved to read everyones stories. I love to talk birth!!
Blessings--Mrs. Johnson
Hello. This is the first time in over a month that I have been able to make it to this site. I had Chloe on January 9. My first baby: a healthy 7lb 9oz baby girl born at home with the help of 2 midwives.
In Canada our healthcare system covers all our healthcare costs. It doesn't cost us a penny to have a midwife (home or hospital), nor does it cost anything to have an OB and a hospital birth. My decision had nothing to do with financial considerations.
I had done a lot of reading and praying and came to the conclusion that God designed my body to give birth and it is a natural process. Women have given birth since the beginning of time and until this past century, it was in the home. There are arguments that the mortality rate is lower since the births moved to hospitals. This may be true but you must also take into consideration that living standards, sanitation, healthier more varied diets etc. have changed a lot and this may be more of a contributing factor as well.
I COMPLETELY agree that there are circumstances where a homebirth would be foolish and that we must use the brains God gave us and take advatage of hospitals and the wisdom and training of an OB. But in a normal healthy pregancy, there is no reason that a homebirth isn't a safe option.
My labor was 36 hours! But you know, a lot of that was the "early" labor and being in the comfort of my home, able to do what I wanted, wear what I wanted, eat what I wanted...it was wonderful and helped a lot. I spent time in the tub, on the phone with family, watched TV etc.
The midwives were wonderful, I had the baby, my husband helped "catch" (because he wanted to), I then fed her and had a nap. When I woke up, my parents were there and we ordered take-out for dinner. It was so nice to sleep in my own bed that night. It was such an AMAZING experience with an amazing outcome!!
We did pre-register at the hospital in case something went wrong and the midwives brought the equipment to set up an IV etc. just in case.
But praise the Lord everything went perfect. It hurt, but not so bad and the promise in John 16:31 is so true.
I should also add that the post-natal care was amazing. The midwives stayed for 3 hours afterwards, then were back within 24 hours, then 3 days, 5 days, 7 days and 14 days. I didn't have to go to their clinic until my 4th week checkup!
Good luck in with wherever you decide.
Jennifer
Sorry it this is so long, I just really wanted to share :)
My mom is a midwife so I thought maybe I would comment again, I don't think it is something anyone with really young children should do as it does take time away from your family even when it is a fairly home-based business.
She pretty much has 2 days a week she does appointments/prenatals and then when a lady is due she has to be on call 24/7 for pretty much 3 weeks before and then afterwards for at least a couple of days. She has a birth center which is a house in town about 4 miles from her house, 1 block from the hospital. That is where she goes to have prenatals. She has missed Mother's Day I think the last three years because of midwifery, we celebrated christmas on christmas eve, but had a meal with family that evening. One lady had her baby on Christmas, but thankfully she didn't miss anything as the baby timed it just right, but there was the possibility.
It is nice because it is only a couple days a week she is gone- anyhow, just thought I would share!
Thanks, everyone for your responses to my question! I have been reading many of the books mentioned here in addition to medical studies and reports dealing with this question. I'm sure when I've gone through this once it will get easier!
Please continue to pray for us: the midwife I had chosen for a homebirth believes that I subconsciously really want a hospital birth and has for the moment declined to work with us.
I have never heard of such a thing happening and we are wondering if it's a trial or God's way of helping us make the decision.
I really wanted to hear from this crowd on the topic and was encouraged by all your stories--it helped me to trust that wherever we end up can be a positive, blessed experience.
Thanks, Crystal, for posting the question.
Oops, did I spell your name wrong, Summer? Sorry! Just fixed! You have a very similar last name to another Sommer I know - and she spells her name like that so I guess that's why I got it in my head wrong. Oh well!
Just wanted to say that the most important thing is the baby. As an RN, I know that things can go VERY bad VERY fast. Things can be just peachy and then dangerous a few minutes later. It's rare, but it happens. Fetal monitering can prevent a lot. I wouldn't (and didn't) take the chance w/my three births. As Crytal asked, I won't tell any horror stories, but why take even the slightest chance w/something so precious?
hi sommer! congrats on your blessing. i'm just gonna tell you what you already know; everything to God in prayer. i will however tell you you it is my experiece that homebirth is the way for me to go. i had my first two in a hospital and my third at home. it took a lot of prayer,reading, asking q's and talking to different midwives to come to this conclusion. i also had a dear friend that helped me with this process. she too had a homebirth and was very well educated in it. after a while my dear hubby and i decided to have a home birth. oh, it was the best decision i've ever made! i had two midwives and an apprentice. they prayed over me and read the word to me. Very comforting! and all the while this was happening my two girls were sleeping in their room. when they woke up the next morning they had a little brother. believe me i know where you are at right now. i was there. and one point i was so confused i just sat and cried. i didn't know what to do. but thank the lord that we always have him to go to! may the lord direct to the will he has for you.
I had all 3 of my children at home and wouldn't change it for the world. I was in control (guided by my midwife, of course) and was able to birth the way I wanted to. Not the way some nurse or doctor wanted me to. This is not to say there is no risk, but there are many risks with a hospital birth. Infections being the #1 problem.
Before you make your final decision, you might want to contact a few midwives and speak to them. My midwife is wonderful and we've become friends over the years.
I know this is an old post. Where to have your baby needs to be where you are comfortable and those assisting are fully competent.
With that said, there is another thing to look at and I only bring this up because it happened to us. My youngest one was born with congenital heart defects. The ultrasound I had at 14 weeks did not show anything so we had no knowledge of a problem.
Now, God took care of our little guy and he was born in a hospital that was equipped to handle his needs and then he was transferred to childrens hospital.
My point in sharing this is had we gone to another hospital that was less than a mile away and where I almost did go due to insurance, they would not have had the equipment to find what was wrong. There was a little one that was born there 6 months after our guy was born and they waited too long to transfer him to the childrens hospital.
So, while you make your decision, make sure there is a what if plan. Heart defects occur in 1 out of every 125 births.
God Bless you and may you have a wonderful and healthy baby!
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